Do you suppose Adam thought that Eve was the prettiest woman in the world? Did he ever say, “you’re the only woman in the world for me” and whisper other sweet nothings to his beloved? I know, I’m not too funny. Somedays, marriage is no laughing matter either.
Within the Bible, we learn that marriage is the first institution that our Creator ordained. God says, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh” (Genesis 2:24).
Maintaining that one-ness can be trying. Perhaps your marriage is experiencing some difficult days right now. Let me encourage you to hold on and trust the process. You see, as sure as everything in life changes, so does marriage. The secret is to not give up during the difficult days when the change process is quite trying.
Am I the model husband? No. I’m more aptly described as the husband that always stands in need of more remodeling. Thankfully, many years ago I entered into a relationship with the Master Builder. His carpentry skills are still working to make me the husband I ought to be.
Is Lisa the model wife? Yes and no. I mean, of course, I believe that she’s the model spouse that God wanted me to have. God made her for me and even though I think she is a better wife than I am a husband, she is not perfect. She too remains under construction.
The long and short of the details is that we have both accepted our imperfections. We have both learned to forgive each other early and often. We now know that we each have needs that can only be met through our relationship with God.
We have invested many years as students of marriage. That’s right, a good marriage not only requires grace, it’s supported by works. Learning to love Lisa as God intends for her to be loved is my responsibility. Thankfully, though, there is a great deal of help available to me. Through God’s Word, prayer, and other good books by reputable Christian authors, I have learned way too much to tell in one blog post. Don’t misunderstand me. Most of the focus has been on me becoming the husband that God has called me to be. Strangely, it appears that while I have been doing this, Lisa has somehow become better and better.
I like how Martin Luther described the relationship. “There is no more lovely, friendly, and charming relationship, communion or company than a good marriage.” Many historians concur that it was not until he married the ex-nun, Katherine von Bora, that Luther really began to experience peace. When he first met her she was known as a feisty redhead, but with his dry sense of humor Luther would later speak of her as “my Lord Kate.” As an instrument of God’s grace, Katherine brought much-needed order to Luther’s life.
Like Luther’s Kate, my Lisa has brought Godly order to my life. Neither of us was committed Christians when we said, “I do.” The first step to having the marriage that God intended was found in that commitment to get right with God and live right for God. We’ve both slipped in that commitment more times than we will confess here, but marvelous grace has been extended to us as goodness and mercy continue to stalk the days of our lives.
Why is my marriage better than ever?
- We both remain in the grip of God’s amazing grace. To God be the glory!
- We both refuse to give up on each other during difficult seasons.
- We both accept that we’re still under divine construction and pray accordingly.
- We both continue to be students of learning how best to love each other.
- We both accept that our primary ministry roles are as a husband and a wife.
So how are things going with your marriage? Is there anything we can do to help? Lisa and I would be glad to pray for your marriage and correspond with you as our schedules permit. Feel free to contact us through the confidential form found on this, “How Can I Help” page.